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Baxter would tell the whole truth, on condition that it remained a secret. He first asked me to write his biography more than 20 years ago, but was emphatic that he did not want it to appear while he was alive. Of all those stories, it is hard to imagine anything more sad than this one. The showbiz world is rife with tales of heartbreak, loneliness, wasted talent and regrets. For decades he has hated to venture out: 'I didn't want to be seen as someone who was once Stanley Baxter,' he says. Today aged 94, he lives as he has for 25 years - a virtual recluse at his flat in Highgate Village, North London. Baxter himself often spoke of wanting to die. His wife Moira, from whom he was separated, was tormented by mental illness and had attempted suicide by cutting her wrists in the bath. He lived in dread of being exposed in the press as a gay man. What none but his closest friends realised was that Baxter was desperately unhappy, his personal life a battlefield. In a television era rich with comic talent, from Morecambe and Wise to Tommy Cooper, Dick Emery to Mike Yarwood, everyone agreed Stanley Baxter was king.
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Millions were scandalised - and breathless with laughter.
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With silk gloves up to his armpits and a tiara, he announced himself as the Duchess of Brendagh and delivered a Christmas message that talked of the Queen Mum as a priceless antique.
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His act was so daring that he was probably the first TV comedian to impersonate the Queen. He could sing, dance, deliver broad panto comedy and perform pinsharp impressions of any star, male or female. His sketch shows were months in the making and the talk of the nation - spectacular, controversial, unlike anything ever seen.īaxter staged full-scale MGM musicals and played every role. The most outrageously funny man on British television 50 years ago was Stanley Baxter. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.Stanley Baxter (pictured) was married for 46 years, but he reveals in his new autobiography beneath his cheerful exterior lies a man tortured by the fact he is gay Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.Ĭomments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to (please don’t send attachments). Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. Listen to her preferences, and avoid any kind of pressuring or blame. Find ways to caress and soothe her without expecting sex until she shows interest. Clearly, you still perceive yourself to be a lover – albeit a lover who is sadly imbued with longing and unrequited passion – but who do you think your wife perceives herself to be? Help her to feel special, attractive and loved. And one of the most powerful predictors of our level of desire is who we feel ourselves to be in the context of our partner. Poor body image and self-loathing are often responsible for lowered sexual interest. The insight you expressed in your last sentence may be the key, so you might do well to start there.